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BlueSting
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Post LOTR jokes
on: April 21, 2005 11:43
As a rule I haven't seen many sidesplitting LOTR jokes (by joke I mean with words not media) but I know they must be out there!!!!!

Anyone care to share any? Reasonably funny, I'll start off with the classic

How-many-hobbits-does-it-take-to-change-a-light bulb?

Answer 1:

One hobbit and a large heap of Russian translations of
The Lord of the Rings to help him reach the lamp.

Answer 2:

One to complain that the light bulb isn't working,
Five to hold a meeting to decide what to do about it,
Twenty to form an expedition to the fabled Light bulb mines of Mythrill,
Thirty to throw a going away party,
One to ask Gandalf for directions,
Five to get lost through natural wastage (bandits, murderers,
Orcs etc),
One to distract the Dragon that guards the Light bulb mine,
Two to carry the light bulbs,
Five to find a large, sword-welding man to escort the
light bulbs home,
Thirty to throw a safe return party,
Six to find an elf tall enough to change the light bulb,
Ten to compose ballads of daring, heroism, sacrifice and
light bulbs,
Finally another two-hundred to appear in the subsequent
Tolkien books.






[Edited on 21/4/2005 by BlueSting]
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 21, 2005 12:41
Well, others may not find this as funny as I did, the day it happened, but I was sitting in my Spanish 1 class, and another LOTR fan and I were having a duel, badgering each other with LOTR questions, to see who knew more.

I of course was losing, when a friend joined in. His question was:

What Lord of the Rings character is named after a child's toy?

My other friend in I looked at each other, and thought for a good while, until finally we gave. We had no idea. We told him as much, and he gave us the answer:

When you have "No Legos" you are "Lego-loss" !

I almost got a detention for laughing so loud. :rolling:

[Edited on 21/4/2005 by Silivrentolwen]
foolofatook~
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 21, 2005 12:47


When you have "No Legos" you are "Lego-loss" !

[Edited on 21/4/2005 by Silivrentolwen]


*lol* My sister and I have made fun of Lego-lass since the day he was born!! I love that joke.

Well...I don't know any good ones at all. I might be able to think something up though. Let's seeeee:

Nah...I can't think of anything!! Me and my sis have made up TONS off spin-offs on LOTR, but you wouldn't understand most of them.
BlueSting
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 21, 2005 03:55
LOL that's funny, my mom says she alway thinks of Legos when she sees legolas.
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 22, 2005 01:45
I'm glad you guys liked it! I was afraid it might have been a "you had to be there" kinda thing, but I guess not.

I have a friend who's dad makes fun of Legolas too. He calls him "Legless" or "Leg-o-lamb". Heehee.
MerryandPip
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 22, 2005 02:35
My sister and I used to make jokes about Ringwraiths, like these:

Q: Why did the Ringwraith cross the road?

A: Because Frodo was on the other side!

Q: What do the Nazgul put up a Christmas?

A: Ring Wreaths!

This one doesn't have to do with Wraiths, but it's cute:

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Samwise.

Samwise who?

Samwise Gandalf at the door?

Hope you liked them.
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 22, 2005 07:00
Q: What do the Nazgul put up a Christmas?

A: Ring Wreaths!


Heeeheeeheeeeheeeee!!!!!!!! :rolling: That's a good one!
foolofatook~
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 22, 2005 07:44
MerryandPip: Haha!! Those were good. Ring Wreaths!! *lol*
BlueSting
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 22, 2005 10:54
ROFL MerryandPip those are great!!!! uh oh *feels joke coming on* the first one reminds me of one I saw somewhere:

Why did Gimli cross the road?

He didn't, he was tossed.
foolofatook~
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 22, 2005 06:11
BlueSting: Ha!!! *lol*

I thought of two lame ones.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Pippin

Pippin who?

Could you Pippin and help me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Merry

Merry who?

Merry Christmas!!

*lol* Hmm....not exactly a bunch of laughs, huh? *lol*
BlueSting
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 24, 2005 02:25
LOL *giggles*
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 25, 2005 05:18
heehee. *giggles w/ Blue Sting*

I think I've got some. Here goes:

What did Gimli say when Aragorn caught him in Legolas' shampoo?

Don't tell the Elf!

What did Gimli say when Legolas made dinner?

Nobody tosses a Dwarf's salad!

Sorry. They're stupid.
TolkienFreek
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 25, 2005 09:06
thats ok i like stupid jokes
BlueSting
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 25, 2005 09:59
Amen Tolkien Freak I like your sig btw! I have a icon of it maybe you'd like

Image

[Edited on 25/4/2005 by BlueSting]
dreamdancer
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 25, 2005 01:39
heheh ^_^ funneh!
we always make cracks about Legolas being leg-less. well, my brother does. XD seeing as how we're in the deep south, its sort of pronounced leg-a-less anyway. heeee.
TolkienFreek
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on: April 25, 2005 01:49
lol yeah i stole my sig from that
i couldnt figure out how to put the icon in my sig so i just wrote it :rolling:
TolkienFreek
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 25, 2005 01:56
"In the two towers, or whenever you see the Ents marching to war, stand up and shout. "RUN FOREST RUN!"


i luv this! its so funny i took it from that big list of stuff 2 do while watching LOTR
foolofatook~
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 25, 2005 02:31
Silivrentolwen: *lol* Hehe!!!

TolkienFreek: Hahaha!!!! That's good.
I like stupid jokes, too.
Morna_Child_of_Eru
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 25, 2005 08:38
While watching LOTR play a drinking game (soda please, alcohol poisoning can kill) where you have to take a sip whenever someone says "The Ring." First one to get wired or use the restroom has to go buy chips.
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 26, 2005 05:30
TolkienFreek: HAHAAAAHAAAAA!!!! That's hilarious!!!!! Heeheeehee. *wipes tear from eye*
Morna_Child_of_Eru: Hmmm. . . interesting. I'll have to remember that when my friend and I watch LOTR.

Me and the same friend who were having the trivia face off were talking about TTT one day, and we both made fun of Eomer when he says "Warmongering??!!!" We both made our eyes really, REALLY big (as much as we could, anyway) and made "Warmongering" as outrageously over dramatic as we could. If we had free time in class, we'd just go back and forth:

"Warmongering!!!!"
"Warmongering!!!!!???"
"WARMONGERING!!!!!"
"W-A-R-M-O-N-G-E-R-I-N-G!!!!!!!!????????????"

hEEEHEEEHEEE
TolkienFreek
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 27, 2005 10:49
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IDENTITY THEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!


lol
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 28, 2005 06:16
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IDENTITY THEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!


Do you mean you did the same thing?
TolkienFreek
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 28, 2005 08:46
TolkienFreek: HAHAAAAHAAAAA!!!! That's hilarious!!!!! Heeheeehee. *wipes tear from eye*
Morna_Child_of_Eru: Hmmm. . . interesting. I'll have to remember that when my friend and I watch LOTR.

no her friend has my name
MerryandPip
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 28, 2005 10:36
My sister and I :heart: the scene "Ent Draft" in TTT EE. When we drink soda and make a noise like Pippin's, we always say, "3-8!" Lol, I :heart: that part so much! or we say, "I'm speaking Treeish!"
TolkienFreek
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 02, 2005 02:38
hehe i like that scene too
Manephelien
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 03, 2005 09:08
When does a dwarf turn into an elf?
When he's legless.
Precious!
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 05, 2005 06:39
When does a dwarf turn into an elf?
When he's legless.
Alie
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 05, 2005 11:33
i have an uncle who does the Leg- o - lamb thing too!

i love the 'ent draft" scene too, im gonna do that!

im also gonna do the drinking game with the one ring! thats genious!
Galendir
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 06, 2005 06:35
Galadriel walks into a bar...

Q: What did she say to the bartender?
A: "Si man i yulma nin enquantuva?"



Also:

When Aragorn is crowned king, you have to stand up and sing (emotionally):

"And I did it...MYYYYYY WAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!"
Celedë_Anthaas
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 06, 2005 07:51
Galadriel walks into a bar...

Q: What did she say to the bartender?
A: "Si man i yulma nin enquantuva?"

*rofl*Brilliant! I'm going to laugh for weeks now... hehe

Here's another one:

Q: Why did Sauron like the name 'Frodo'?
A: He thought it had a nice ring to it.
foolofatook~
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on: May 06, 2005 02:29
*lol* I'm gonna have ta' translate that later on, Galendir.

Celde_Anthaas: Haha!! "Ring" to it. Hehe!

Let's see:

Q: Where is Pippin's favorite place to kiss?
A: In the "mush" rooms.

Hehe. Kinda cute....
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 16, 2005 04:49
When Aragorn is crowned king, you have to stand up and sing (emotionally):

"And I did it...MYYYYYY WAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!"


HAAHAAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolling: That's great!!!!

Q: Why did Sauron like the name 'Frodo'?
A: He thought it had a nice ring to it.


HAAHAAAHAAAA! :rolling:

Galadriel walks into a bar...

Q: What did she say to the bartender?
A: "Si man i yulma nin enquantuva


Translate the elvish, and maybe I'll get it. :dizzy: :twitch:

What did Merry say when Pippin caught him stealing his mushrooms?

The Dark Lord made me do it!!!!

[Edited on 16/5/2005 by Silivrentolwen]
Celedë_Anthaas
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 16, 2005 07:22
Galadriel walks into a bar...

Q: What did she say to the bartender?
A: "Si man i yulma nin enquantuva


Translate the elvish, and maybe I'll get it. :dizzy: :twitch:


"Si man i yulma nin enquantuva?" means "Who shall now refill the cup for me?". It's in "NAmárië", the song Galadriel sings when the Fellowship leave Lothlorien
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 16, 2005 10:13
Ah! Now I get it! Good one!

Anybody like mine?

Or maybe no one has heard the phrase, "The devil made me do it." I just changed it to "Dark Lord." Okay. I'll shut up now.

[Edited on 16/5/2005 by Silivrentolwen]
Tariel_Vanari
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 16, 2005 12:06
My dad does the "leg-o-lanb" thing. He has ones for some of the other characters too. For example Aragorn is "Ear-of-corn" and he calls Celeborn "Kettle-corn" (my dad has this thing about corn). I think he has some more, but I forgot them.

Can't think of anything else right now, but I know that me and my brother have a ton of lotr jokes
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