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foolofatook~
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 16, 2005 03:55


"Si man i yulma nin enquantuva?" means "Who shall now refill the cup for me?". It's in "NAmárië", the song Galadriel sings when the Fellowship leave Lothlorien


Ahhhh!! Hahahahaha!!!! That's hilarious!!!

And yeah, I love yours Silivrentolwen. Very....devilishious. *lol* Ya' like mine (at the top)?

Tariel_Vanari: *lol* Kettle-corn. Haha!

Well...I can't think of any jokes right now. Heh....I'm pretty bad at 'em actually. The only one I could think of was this one, and you guys wouldn't get it 'cause it's an inside joke.

What did Aragorn say when he charged toward the black gate?

"For Beebles!!!!"
Ilfa
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 16, 2005 10:30
Amen Tolkien Freak I like your sig btw! I have a icon of it maybe you'd like

Image

[Edited on 25/4/2005 by BlueSting]


BlueSting that was really funny

Q: What do the Nazgul put up a Christmas?

A: Ring Wreaths!


teehee! that was funny MerryandPip!

Why did Gimli cross the road?

He didn't, he was tossed.


LOL. That's funny too BlueSting...

Also:

When Aragorn is crowned king, you have to stand up and sing (emotionally):

"And I did it...MYYYYYY WAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!"


heehee... that is really funny Galendir!

What Lord of the Rings character is named after a child's toy?

My other friend in I looked at each other, and thought for a good while, until finally we gave. We had no idea. We told him as much, and he gave us the answer:

When you have "No Legos" you are "Lego-loss" !

I almost got a detention for laughing so loud.


GREAT ONE Silivrentolwen! this really made me laugh! :rolling:
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 17, 2005 02:55
lol* Ya' like mine (at the top)?


Oops! Sorry if you felt left out, foolofatook~. Very funny.

*bows* Thank you, Ilfa. Glad you enjoyed it.

Kettle corn! Haha! Very funny,Tariel_Vanari.

Hmmm. . . think. . . think. . . think. . . .

How many orcs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Can't tell! As soon as the light comes on, they scatter!
Ilfa
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 18, 2005 08:55
How many orcs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Can't tell! As soon as the light comes on, they scatter!


*LOL*, I haven't check this thread recently, but anyway, thanks for making me giggle. :rolling:
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 19, 2005 04:49
You are most welcome, Ilfa.

What do you get when an Oliphant steps on a Rohan horse??

Dumbo toe-jam with a side of horseradish!!

Piano player's should like this next one:

What does an Oliphant's really hate??

Someone tickling his ivory's!

Sorry. I know they're stupid.
foolofatook~
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 19, 2005 10:51
*lol* No problem, Silivren!! Glad you liked it!

Hahahahaha!!!! Dumbo toe-jam. *lol* Very funny.

Umm...I can't think of anything!!

What is Merry's favorite bar?

Brandy's Bucks!

*lol* Ok, that was lame.
Ilfa
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 19, 2005 09:12
You are most welcome, Ilfa.

What do you get when an Oliphant steps on a Rohan horse??

Dumbo toe-jam with a side of horseradish!!

Piano player's should like this next one:

What does an Oliphant's really hate??

Someone tickling his ivory's!

Sorry. I know they're stupid.


LOL That's not stupid, that's funny! and how sad, I can't think of any jokes... :killcomp: :killcomp: :killcomp:
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 20, 2005 07:29
*beams* Glad you guys liked my jokes!!

What is Merry's favorite bar?

Brandy's Bucks!


Funny! And very cute!!! Nice one foolofatook~.

LOL That's not stupid, that's funny! and how sad,


Yeah. I know. That part of the movie is very emotional for me to, but I heard a similar joke, that was not lotr related, so I thought I'd use it.

*. . . * Wouldn't ya know it, I can't think of anymore jokes either! :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: Think. . .think. . . think. . . . :killcomp:

heeheee.
foolofatook~
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 20, 2005 09:15
*lol* Hehe... :blush: Thankies!

I can't think of any either!! I love that computer-throwing smiley though.

TolkienFreek
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 20, 2005 09:31
found sum good ones!!!!!
Frodo and Sam are in Lothlorien at night, just about to go to sleep. Suddenly, Frodo turns to Sam and says- "Sam, look up. What do you see?"
Sam thinks for a moment, then turns to Frodo and says-
"Master, I see the stars in the heavens. They seem to be a never-ending map of heavens. They are infinite, shrouded in mystery, beautiful and amazing to behold, and far too complex for a young hobbit such as myself to fully comprehend.
And Frodo replies- "Sam, you fool, someone stole our tent!!

"This is my friend, Gimli" - Legolas introduced the dwarf to Treebeard.
Treebeard looked at Gimli's axe suspiciously.
"And his axe is not for trees." - Legolas continued. "He chops the orc's heads off with it.."
"Hum, rurum..Really?! - Treebeard said in relief.
"Really!" - said Gimli. "For trees I've got a saw..."

Merry and Pippin are at night-camp. Merry comes back from the dark forest and finds Pippin tied up to a tree. A bunch of orcs are sitting by the fire. Merry stops- "Pip, what the mushrooms is going on here? All I said was that I'll be right back, stay tight, clean and pile our plates and forks.."
Pippin looks uo, quite happy and answers-
"OH! That's it! I thought you said I'll be right back, meanwhile invite our mates the orcs
foolofatook~
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 20, 2005 06:46
Ahhhhhhahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dude, stop making me laugh!!! I can't beat those.
Ilfa
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 21, 2005 12:48
TolkienFreak: heehee... you tickled me! :rolling: especially the situation where Sam said something worthwhile for me... Then the good old frodo interrupted! LOL..!!

Silivrentolwen: You really make funny jokes! I hope you'll have to think of something! lol, you must!:evil: *lol* and then *forces Silivrentolwen to think of some funny joke* lol, it's only a JOKE don't be mad
TolkienFreek
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 21, 2005 03:10
hehe sorry those are not original
my friend told me them and sum more

A Gondorian drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave."
The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir!
I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line.."

Gollum and Sauron were making a deal on the top of Orodruin:
- Let'sss make it fair-sssss - you takessss the ring, usss the finger

A blonde woman in Rohan had two horses, but she couldn’t tell them apart. So she asked her hobbit neighbor for advice. He suggested that she cut the tail off one of the horses.This worked until the other horse snagged his tail on a fence accidentally cutting his tail off.So the neighbor suggested notching one of the horses’ ear. This worked until the other horse snagged his ear on a fence accidentally notching his ear. So the neighbor suggested measuring the heights of the horses.And sure enough, the white horse was two inches taller than the black horse.

Gandalf: 'Stupid kids!'
*sets off fireworks*
*kids cheer***
Gandalf: 'Crap.....missed.'







Ilfa
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 22, 2005 04:13
hehe sorry those are not original
my friend told me them and sum more


It's ok, as long as its funny...

all of them are funny! Thanks for making my first laugh in the morning... :rolling: (morning here in us..)

I can't think of any funny jokes :killcomp:
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 23, 2005 04:35
Silivrentolwen: You really make funny jokes! I hope you'll have to think of something! lol, you must! *lol* and then *forces Silivrentolwen to think of some funny joke* lol, it's only a JOKE don't be mad


Thank you! It feels good to make somebody laugh. Alas, try as you might, I still can't think of any. Give me a sec. No, I'm not mad. Why would I be?

Very funny jokes,TolkienFreek! Never stand in another line! Heehee. Oh, and a Middle earth blonde joke! BRILLIANCE!!!!

*laughs until it hurts. . . really bad*

Uh-oh. I got one. . . It's coming. . . TA-DAH!

What did Merry say when Bill the pony bit him in the butt?

"What does he eat when he can't get hobbit!!"

What was Aragorns excuse to Arwen for flirting with Eowyn?

Sorry honey, but you know I'm a sucker for blondes.

What did Eowyn say when she awoke from the Black Breath in the houses of healing?

Blondes have more fun.

What did Legolas say when he landed on the ground after killing the oliphant?

Blondes have a lot more fun!


I guess I took the Blonde joke thing and ran with it. I think they're dumb, but tell me what you all think.
foolofatook~
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 23, 2005 09:42
TF: *lol* I love that blonde joke.

Silivrentolwen: Well, there umm...very...blonde. *lol* Hehe. Funny.

I'm brain-washed!! Can't think of anything!! :cry:
Ilfa
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 23, 2005 03:20
What did Merry say when Bill the pony bit him in the butt?

"What does he eat when he can't get hobbit!!"

What was Aragorns excuse to Arwen for flirting with Eowyn?

Sorry honey, but you know I'm a sucker for blondes.

What did Eowyn say when she awoke from the Black Breath in the houses of healing?

Blondes have more fun.

What did Legolas say when he landed on the ground after killing the oliphant?

Blondes have a lot more fun!


I guess I took the Blonde joke thing and ran with it. I think they're dumb, but tell me what you all think.


So much for the blonde... :rolling: I really love your jokes, they're very funny! Good thing someone's making me laugh! *lol*
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 24, 2005 04:30
Thanks!

That one with Aragorn, I actually took from a picture I saw. They had taken a picture of Aragorn and Eowyn, when she's having her little dream thing, and they put Arwen in there, and the rest is subtitles. kinda stupid I know.
TolkienFreek
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 24, 2005 10:12
More

Q: How many hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?

A1: One hobbit and a large heap of Russian translations of
The Lord of the Rings to help him reach the lamp.

A2: Two hobbits, (because one is only as tall as half a man), one
magician to read the words written on the lamp, and you need to gather a
band of men, hobbits, elves and dwarves to carry broken lightbulb and to
destroy it in Orodruin.

How many hobbits does it take to change a light
bulb?

One to complain that the light bulb isn't working,
Five to hold a meeting to decide what to do about it,
Twenty to form an expedidtion to the fabled Lightbulb mines of
Mythrill,
Thirty to throw a going away party,
One to ask Gandalf for directions,
One to sell into slavery when the petty cash runs out,
Five to get lost through natural wastage (bandits, murderers,
monsters etc),
One to thrown to the Dragon that guards the Lightbulb mine,
Two to carry the lightbulbs,
Five to find a large, sword-welding barbarian to escort the
lightbulbs home,
Thirty to throw a safe return party,
Five to find an elf tall enough to change the lightbulb,
Five to compose ballads of daring, heroism, sacrifice and
lightbulbs,
Finally another two-hundred to appear in the subsequent
Tolkien books.
TolkienFreek
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 24, 2005 10:23
oops those are the same exact ones blue sting posted to start the thread woops
Ilfa
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 24, 2005 04:30
LOL, that's why when I was reading it, I remembered someone posting that joke already. Anyway, I'm not a joker that's why I can't think of any jokes... :killcomp: :killcomp: :killcomp:
GreenLeafGurl
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 28, 2005 06:05
Some of these jokes are really funny! I'm gonna try and think of some. As soon as I do I'll post them here.
Ilfa
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 28, 2005 10:07
OK, I'll be expecting a joke or two from you!

I really don't have jokes...:killcomp:
GreenLeafGurl
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 29, 2005 06:56
I didn't make this joke up, but I went searching for jokes through Google and I found one that I thought hilariously funny.

Why did Beren cross the road?
To go to the second-hand shop!!



And then there was a less funny one,

What is the best characteristic of Iluvatar?
His valar!

Maybe they're corny but the Beren one had me laughing for hours!

[Edited on 29/5/2005 by GreenLeafGurl]
Ilfa
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 29, 2005 02:05
Why did Beren cross the road?
To go to the second-hand shop!!

[Edited on 29/5/2005 by GreenLeafGurl]

LOL. :rolling: That was funny.
RingNut
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 31, 2005 02:04
I love some of these jokes!! I have some, but they may just be corny enough to work! hehe

What did Frodo call Bilbo after he finished labeling his birthday presents?

A: Lord of the Useless Things

Why are Ents like Oliphaunts?

A: They both don't like anything that is small and moves fast.

Why is Frodo like Nienna?

A: All they do is cry about their sorrows. (I love 'em both.)

Why was Frodo upset on Amon Sûl?

Because he tigged on a tog.*

Hehe. Couldn't resist.
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: May 31, 2005 05:52
Why did Beren cross the road?
To go to the second-hand shop!!


Haaaahaaaaaaaaa!! That's great! Heeheee.

Hmmm. . . the gears of my mind are turning. . . can't you hear them?? Hmmmm. . .

What did Sauron say when he appeared as a great dog to fight Beren and Luthien?

You were expecting the Easter bunny?

Why did Legolas kill fewer orcs than Gimli at Helm's Deep?

He stopped to many times to check his hair and make-up.

What was the excuse Pippin used when his fellow hobbits asked him why he didn't take the Ring to Mordor?

The Thain must disdain, from ashy, rocky plains.

^^The above being a tribute to "My Fair Lady."

:nono: :nono: I think my poor brain is all joked out. *heavy sigh* Let the verbal bashing begin!
Ilfa
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: June 01, 2005 10:34
LOL! Heeeheeee! :rolling: all of'em are FUNNY!
Josephine_jfh
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: June 02, 2005 08:24
I'd post this on the wrong forum before, and it was closed so I can't search it out. Now I retype it here again.

Nazgul: "No man can kill me."
Eowyn: "I am no man."

...only Eowyn can kill Nazgul? Let's find it out.

Gandalf: I am no man, I am gay.
Legolas: I am no man, I am gay, too. (Stay calm, fan girls. I'm just joking.)
Arwen: I am no man, I am she-elf.
Sam: I am no man, I AM SAM. (Sean Penn: Hey! Don't steal my line.)
Boromir: I am no man, I am dead.
King of the Dead: Me, too.:evil:
Shadowfax: I am no man, I am a horse. (Kick)This is for Snowmane...

Here are other members' ideas.

Sauron: I am no man, I am your master!
Gollum: We are no m'a'n, we are m'e'n! My precioussss...

This is the most fabulous one I think:

Nazgul: No man can kill me!
Treebeard: I am no man, I am...
Nazgul: No tree can kill me, either.
Treebeard: I am no tree, I am an Ent.

[Edited on 2/6/2005 by Josephine_jfh]
Morna_Child_of_Eru
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: June 02, 2005 07:09
What did Sauron say when he appeared as a great dog to fight Beren and Luthien?

You were expecting the Easter bunny?


This reminds me of a line from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (which I have never actually seen- one of my friends qouted it to me).

In the context of LotR jokes

Gandalf: you tried to convice me to join Sauron and locked me on the top of a tower?
Sauruman: So now you're going to be what? Shocked and disappointed? I'm EVIL!
Ilfa
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: June 02, 2005 10:12
Nazgul: "No man can kill me."
Eowyn: "I am no man."
...only Eowyn can kill Nazgul? Let's find it out.
Gandalf: I am no man, I am gay.
Legolas: I am no man, I am gay, too. (Stay calm, fan girls. I'm just joking.)
Arwen: I am no man, I am she-elf.
Sam: I am no man, I AM SAM. (Sean Penn: Hey! Don't steal my line.)
Boromir: I am no man, I am dead.
King of the Dead: Me, too.:evil:
Shadowfax: I am no man, I am a horse. (Kick)This is for Snowmane...

Here are other members' ideas.
Sauron: I am no man, I am your master!
Gollum: We are no m'a'n, we are m'e'n! My precioussss...

This is the most fabulous one I think:
Nazgul: No man can kill me!
Treebeard: I am no man, I am...
Nazgul: No tree can kill me, either.
Treebeard: I am no tree, I am an Ent.
[Edited on 2/6/2005 by Josephine_jfh]

LOL.:evil: Those are REALLY FUNNY! :rolling: made me chuckle too much for a while. THanks!
Silivrentolwen
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: June 03, 2005 05:33
Heeeheee. Good ones,Josephine_jfh.

*beats head*

Still nothing. *heavy sigh*
newsgirl
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: June 12, 2005 12:55
Oh Darn! I was going to post this topic! (Stomps away, angry... after a few hours comes back to computer, sighs, and types...) Fine. (just kidding)
I made up one or two really dumb lotr jokes a while ago... really dumb. But I guess some jokes are so dumb they're funny. Well, here's mine:

Q:How many elves does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None! They don't HAVE lightbulbs in middle-earth!

*I can almost see everyone's blank faces*
MerryandPip
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: June 13, 2005 11:06
**Blinks**
newsgirl
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: June 15, 2005 07:54
I came up with another extremely dumb joke.

Q: What does Merry do for a living?
A: He's a doctor. Merry-a-doc! get it?


*sigh* okay, okay, I'll go away.

[Edited on 20/6/2005 by newsgirl]
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